I’ve been married for over 27 years and even after all that time there are still times when I’m faced with the challenge of guessing what my wife wants.

‘It’s our day off! Would you like to go out for the day or stay in and relax?’ ‘Oh I don’t mind’ she replies – but I’ve learned she probably does. Basically I’m being tested to read her mind and make the right decision. There are times I’ve made the right decision (big pat on the back for all of us who have managed this) and there are times I’ve made the wrong decision (you’ve probably already learnt your lesson the hard way so no further chastisement required).

But what about trying to work out what God wants? Maybe you’ve had an idea for an adventure swishing around in your head and your love for God means you desire to do His will; so you pray ‘should I take a step forward into the adventure, or should I stay where I am?’ How do you work out what God actually wants?

Well most people pray – in fact prayers about ‘direction’ are amongst the most popular prayers and they essentially ‘ask God the question’ – but how do you ‘find out His answer’ to that question?

I’m going to share two strategies I’ve deployed. Both hold fast to the conditional promise found in Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

The first strategy I’m about to share is how I used to do it. The second is how I have been doing it for the last 15+ years.

How I used to discern God’s will

When I was mulling over an idea I would form it into a prayer and ask God to give me a number of evidential signs if I was to act upon it. These signs could vary – for example confirmation in the bible (God will never contradict that which He has already communicated through His word), receiving prophetic words, receiving unexpected provision to fund the idea or having supportive advise from wise Godly people. If no such sign was forth coming then I would continue to go back to prayer until a time when either the answer came along or I simply decided to stop asking.

I made numerous decisions based on such an approach and God was so gracious in helping me.

How I now discern God’s will

During one such occasion of my previous approach, I felt God challenge me. He said ‘why do you always assume my answer is no unless I say otherwise?’ I thought about my process of having an idea, praying about an idea and then awaiting a sign about the idea before progressing. It was like each prayer saw me waiting at a red traffic light. I stayed there asking God to turn it green if he wanted me to proceed. Then I heard God ask me one of the most provocative questions He’s ever asked me. ‘What if you assume the light is on green unless I give you a clear red?’

The question seemed to expose something in me. I realised that an aspect of my previous approach wasn’t just motivated by simply a desire to do what the Lord wanted but was also in part a manifestation of a fear of failure and a lack of courage. Both these things expose an inadequate understanding of God. After all, doesn’t He give second chances to those who fail (the story Jesus told of the three men who were assigned various talents comes to mind when the lazy servant said ‘I knew you were a hard man… and I was afraid) and isn’t He someone who gives courage when we step out? Of course none of us want to fail, but there is a difference between ‘not wanting to fail’ and ‘fearing failure’.

I was about to begin an adventure of bold ‘green light’ journeys and I needed to lose the fear of failure in order to do so. I needed to change my strategy and face the adventures head on. I needed to operate out of a better understanding of both God and who He has called me to be. So now this is what I do….

1. Pray and read the bible

I pray and invite God to fire my imagination, remove any boxes I’ve placed Him or myself in and ask the Lord to give me both wisdom and courage. I also ask Him to give me a ‘red light’ if the adventure I’m praying into is not the right one I should take.

2. Counsel

I also talk with those who have Godly lives and perspectives. People who I know have a heart for God, who will help cultivate an open heart and see a big God. I share my thoughts on the adventure and seek their thoughts and insights. If you don’t have such people in your life then you need to actively find them.

3. Research

I also research the idea. Adventures need plans and plans usually involve paying a price – that could mean financial costs, time costs or costs to a settled life and routine. The best adventures are entered into with ‘eyes wide open’.

4. Courage

Throughout each of these steps I continue to pray ‘God if this is not right then please give me a red light and I promise I will stop!’, but if I get no ‘red’ and continue to know Gods peace and passion, I step further into the adventure.

Red Lights

I have experienced a number of red light moments over the years. Maybe it has come from losing a peace and passion for the adventure the more I have weighed it up. Gods seemingly ‘illogical’ peace and a passion or excitement within my spirit have often been reliable indicators to me as to whether something is right or not to pursue, and losing one of these is so important to note. Other red lights have come from the godly counsel of others – they have helped me gain insights that God has used to turn the light red. Then there have been times that the process of doing research has either placed a red light before me or an amber (not yet) light.

The Green Light Assumption

The lack of adventure in a disciples life usually stems from a lack of courage. This is not a new issue – I don’t think it’s an accident that the bible says ‘do not be afraid’ 365 times – once for each day of the year eh!

There are times when praying ‘is this your will God’ seems a very spiritual thing to do, but actually stepping out with Gods courage would be more spiritual. I meet so many Christians who are not fulfilled and usually it is because they have allowed fear to hold them back. If that’s you, pick up one of those ‘do not be afraid’ reminders today!

In seeking to discern Gods will, we often emphasise our context, but I find that God emphasises our identity. King David didn’t seem to have a prophetic word about taking on Goliath but he did know he was anointed to be King. The apostle Paul tried to enter Bithynia in Acts 16:7 as he was called to be a preacher of the gospel, but the Spirit prevented him from doing so. I believe King David and Paul lived with an understanding of their identity in God and in living that out, they believed that God says ‘it’s a green light’ unless He says ‘it’s red’.

Spiritualised Procrastination

I don’t want to miss a single adventure and over the last 15+ years I have made some pretty big decisions under this ‘it’s green unless God says red’ strategy. I’ve needed to remain open and teachable. I’ve needed to ensure this is not a way of running ahead of God. I’ve needed to genuinely be attentive to the ‘red light’ signs. I have full confidence that He will continue to give me either courage to proceed or wisdom to stop at the red lights.

If you and I will courageously embrace Gods adventures for our lives then I believe the church will step into a very exciting new season – It’s a green light unless you see a red light!